How to Avoid Raising a Consumer

When I talk to people who have succeeded in business, I often notice a curious paradox. People who work incredibly hard create a greenhouse environment at home for their children. They don’t realize that this fear and overprotection inevitably leads to immaturity. The child learns to ask for things, not to create them, and this is a direct path to a consumer mindset. I, on the other hand, chose a different, tougher approach, but it works.

I start with simple explanations about money: where it comes from, and the different types of income and expenses. But true understanding comes exclusively through practice. For example, my daughter earned her first money herself, by babysitting or cleaning an office. It was fundamentally important to me that this was not a job at my company, because I am convinced that a child should encounter real work and a real supervisor. Only then will they develop respect for labor and its results.

The boarding school in Oregon where my daughter attends shares similar principles. Students are busy with academics and sports six days a week, and they clean the entire school themselves. My daughter scrubs the laundry room, washes clothes, cleans her own room, and cooks her own food. Physical labor is excellent for putting the mind in order, and it's the very foundation on which everything else is built.

Money is Earned Through Work 

Pocket money and earned income are completely different things. I believe that a child must earn their first income through their own labor. Let it be $20 an hour for a straightforward job. At that moment, an internal economy immediately kicks in, and a choice arises: to continue exchanging time for money, or to grow in skills, take on more responsibility, and earn more. Children, as a rule, start to count very quickly, especially when the money comes not "from Dad" but from the results of their own efforts.

Begging for Money from Parents

 It's foolish for a parent to give in to begging for money because this behavior forms a false model for the child—that getting money depends on manipulation within the family, not on real achievements in the outside world. Want a new smartphone? Show your progress in school or sports. Complete the program faster, improve your rank, or win a competition. Energy should be directed toward achievement, not toward endless negotiations on "give me money."

Limits and the "Family Financial Agreement" 

Don't spend everything you can on your child, even if you have the means to do so. The joy of receiving money and the sense of responsibility emerge where there is a price to the effort. A prom dress brings true happiness when its purchase was preceded by an achievement. A child must grasp a simple rule: "If there's a result, there will be an expensive item. If there's no result, it will be something simpler." This is fair and shows a direct link between action and outcome. This is how we raise a creator, not a consumer.

Write down all the rules. Let them act like a company's regulations:

• Money comes from contribution, and there is no "salary for existence" within the family.
• All efforts are directed externally, toward school, sports, and projects.
• Major purchases are made only for results.

Personal Experience: Action and Result 

When my daughter earned her first money from a real job, she gained a true foundation. She stopped "negotiating" with me, and an entrepreneurial logic, planning, and responsibility for her choices emerged. At school, she manages her own life, her motivation grows, and illusions disappear. I see how this changes her character, and this is exactly the result I was aiming for. My daughter understands that I am not a money machine in the family, but a mentor. I am responsible for the conditions where adulthood is formed.

Where to Start

 You should immediately stop subsidizing requests. Tie any spending to the child's contribution. Agree on transparent rules and find tasks they can do outside the family. Let the child encounter the real market; this will be the best antidote to consumerism and a true investment in their character.

Your main task is not to give your child a lifelong financial safety net, but to teach them to achieve results and be responsible. This is a capital that will never depreciate.